Wherever you are on the journey toward creating your life goals,
whether you're discovering your interests, developing them, or deepening them,
it can be valuable to keep in mind some general scientific advice
for what to look out for when you're choosing goals to support well-being.
We'll look first at a few tips from Sonja Lyubomirsky
and then we'll explore some valuable distinctions from Heidi Grant Halvorson
that she describes in her book "Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals."
We'll begin by exploring three specific tips from Lyubomirsky in "The How of Happiness."
First, she distinguishes between intrinsic and extrinsic goals.
Intrinsic goals are ones we pursue because we find them inherently valuable and satisfying.
For example, they connect us with our interest.
They help us grow as a person, or they help us connect with our communities.
They nurture our most basic psychological needs of autonomy-feeling like we're in control of ourselves,
competence-feeling like we have mastery over our environment,
and relatedness-feeling like we're connected to others.
Extrinsic goals, on the other hand, are valued instrumentally for something else they can provide us,
and they're often connected to other people's opinions about us.
Goals for wealth, beauty, and fame are examples of extrinsic goals.
This doesn't mean we should never have goals for financial success, for example,
as these can provide us with the means necessary for supporting our intrinsic goals.
But if we want to maximize our well-being,
we should always remember that things like money and power are extrinsic goals,
valuable not in themselves, but for what they can bring.
So, they always need to be attended by intrinsic goals.
If you do get the money, power, or fame you're aiming for,
what are the inherently worthwhile things they would enable you to do?
And so that you are not dependent on these instrumental goals, it's no doubt wise to consider
what intrinsic goals you could aim for even if the money, power, or fame prove elusive.
The second tip we want to examine has to do with flexible and appropriate goals.
It's important for us to consider the stage of life we're in,
the abilities we have and the norms of the culture we're living in.
Younger people tend to have certain types of priorities of expanding their knowledge and
establishing themselves, getting an education, for example,
embarking on a career, perhaps buying a house, getting married, having children.
By contrast, older people tend to focus more on goals that are emotionally meaningful.
In addition to age differences, there may also be unexpected changes in our health,
finances, or family situation that we should take into consideration.
Remaining inflexible in such situations can work against our well-being.
By contrast, being realistic and creative about how to move forward
in the particular situation in which we find ourselves can support our well-being.
I think we often have old fears that we store in the closets of our minds
like we sometimes store old clothes that no longer fit us in the closets of our homes.
The same can be said of our dreams.
Sometimes, we're unduly influenced by these old fears and dreams that no longer suit us.
By cleaning out our closets and letting go of those old fears and dreams, both of which can be constricting,
we can open ourselves up to creating flexible and appropriate goals.
Finally, Lyubomirsky suggests choosing goals that involve taking up a new activity
over goals for improving our circumstances.
Research indicates that we are likely to adapt fairly quickly
to the enhanced well-being brought by a bigger TV, new car, or even a vacation home.
Although they may help us feel happier in the short term, the novelty wears off fairly quickly,
and our lives with the new item become the new normal.
Activity goals, by contrast, are more resistant to adaptation because they open us up to novelty on an ongoing basis.
A cooking class, for example, opens us up to a range of new experiences
and then prepares us for even more novel experiences
as we continue to apply what we have learned in new ways long after the class is over.
Joining a running club allows us to meet new people,
and share new experiences long after we've forgotten that we used to own a smaller TV.
Now, let's turn to some useful distinctions Heidi Grant Halvorson makes in her book
"Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals."
In particular, we will talk about "why" versus "what" goals,
"be good" versus "get better" goals,
and "prevention" versus "promotion" goals.
Let's first talk about "why" versus "what" goals.
What are they, and when would you want to use one or the other?
Imagine it's a Saturday and you realize you really need to spend some time in your bedroom closet.
What is the goal you set for yourself?
You could write down "organize my closet, "
and that would be an example of a "why" goal.
It explains the purpose of the actions you were planning to undertake.
Alternatively, you could write down "throw out clothes I never wear."
This would be an example of a "what" goal, since it explains the particular actions you intend to take.
Although each goal involves similar activities,
there are situations in which it's preferable
to think of your efforts in terms of "why" goals,
and times in which it's preferable to think of them in terms of "what" goals.
Halvorson points out that "why" goals help us get energized,
stay motivated, and avoid temptations.
"What" goals, on the other hand, are particularly helpful
with difficult tasks, unfamiliar tasks, and tasks that take a long time to learn.
Next, let's turn to "be good" versus "get better" goals.
Halvorson points out that this is the difference between
proving yourself and improving yourself.
When the situation is not too difficult, and you want to focus on performing well,
then using "be good" goals may be just the way to go.
In all other situations, though,
Halvorson recommends using "get better" goals.
"Get better" goals can be especially helpful to improve performance,
to enjoy the journey, and not just the destination,
to fight depression, and to achieve more.
If you're taking a class that's pretty easy for you, for example,
then you may want to set a goal of getting an A.
But if the course is really difficult,
you're probably better off
setting a goal like scoring higher on your second exam than you do on your first exam.
If your goal is to get an A in a hard class,
doing poorly on your first exam can be quite demoralizing,
and you may feel like giving up your goal as unattainable,
but adopting the goal of getting a higher grade on your second exam
gives you something realistic to shoot for,
and is more likely to result in improved performance.
Finally, let's look at "prevention" versus "promotion" goals.
We can think of these as "red cape" versus "green cape" goals.
And as we have noted about each side of the cape,
Halverson argues that there is a time for each of these kinds of goals.
She also points out that different people may be able to benefit more from one or the other.
Let's take "prevention" goals first.
Imagine you're preparing to take your driver's exam for the first time
so you can get your driver's license.
And let's just say your goal is not to fail the test.
With this type of goal, we can actually be hindered by optimism
since it can lead to overconfidence.
"Prevention" goals like this make us calm when we succeed.
Perhaps, we even have a sense of relief, but anxious when we fail.
They make us less likely to try new things, but help us plan better, and avoid procrastination.
They also help us focus on details,
so they're good when we need accuracy over speed.
Finally, they help us avoid distractions and temptations.
We're so focused on not failing that it's hard to think about anything else.
In contrast to "prevention" goals are "promotion" goals.
Let's say your goal is to ask someone out on a date.
With "promotion" goals like this, you are likely to be aided by optimism.
These goals make us happy when we succeed, and sad when we fail.
They lead to greater creativity and exploratory thinking.
And they're especially good when we need speed over accuracy.
Clearly there's a time for "prevention" goals and a time for "promotion" goals.
Sonja Lyubomirsky points out, however,
that people who make a habit of pursuing "promotion" goals
tend to have higher well-being
than those who typically pursue "prevention" goals.
So although both are important,
when possible,
it's probably best to go with promotion goals.
Just like, when possible, it's probably best to go with the green side of our reversible cape.