5.13 Coping with transformation and termination

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En provenance du cours de University of Toronto

The Arts and Science of Relationships: Understanding Human Needs

93 notes

University of Toronto

The Arts and Science of Relationships: Understanding Human Needs

93 notes

This course provides an introduction to: 1. Basic concepts of The Strategies and Skills Learning and Development System (SSLD), their relevance for every day relationships and provide advanced concepts for participants who work in fields of social work and health care . 2. Basic practice principles and methods of SSLD, illustrated by relationship management case studies. 3. The SSLD framework for relationship management assessment; N3C (needs, circumstances, characteristics, capacity) and problem translation. 4. Core competencies in the relationship management application of the SSLD system: Observation learning, simulation, real life implementation, review and monitoring.

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Module 5 - Challenges, Endings, and Transformation

Introduction to the concept of Six Domains of Human Life and its application in different parts of a relationship. This module explores the transformation and termination of relationships and their challenges.

5.12 Transformation & Termination2:53

5.13 Coping with transformation and termination5:31

5.14 Coping with emotional challenges4:26

5.15 Coping with major life transitions4:09

5.16 Self-Preservation5:40

5.17 Difficult Transition3:01

5.18 Lifeworld Design8:19

Rencontrer les enseignants

A. Ka Tat Tsang
Founder of the SSLD System; Professor and Factor-Inwentash Chair in Social Work in the Global Community
Factor-Inwentash Faculty of Social Work

Alright, so we can understand termination and transformation as sometimes related in

similar processes and even overlapping.

But what are the key elements that are involved in, then,

that kind of come up for a lot of people?

>> So whether we're talking about a transformation or

a termination, you know something has changed.

And then, we will have to do something differently

in order to address the same needs that were previously met by this relationship.

Like say for example, if someone who is like a care provider of support,

companionship, sense of intimacy just died,

then I would have a lot of unmet needs, and

being able to address those needs would be important.

And as we talked about before the relationship has transformed.

I may be going through a similar challenge, so

many of my needs are not met now.

Because of the change that has happened either in the relationship,

in the external circumstances or in the person that

I'm having a relationship with or like some changes within myself but

the key thing still is that certain needs has not met and

I would have to find new ways to address them.

>> Okay, so that sounds very logical to me, just kind of going through this

analysis and finding ways to meet our own needs, but when I think

about termination or transformation within my own life, I think of a lot of emotion,

like maybe I'm really happy, or maybe there's a lot of grief or sadness.

And where do those fit in?

>> Yeah, I think you're absolutely right in pointing out the emotional aspect.

It's actually very important component of this process.

Very often people get so emotional, right?

That they would do things that are not helpful.

It is not unusual for

us to hear about people doing something to harm themselves.

We also hear about people developing problems with like drinking or

like substance use or other kinds of behaviours that are not helpful like you know

gambling and other forms of self destructive behaviour.

Some people get in trouble with the law.

Some people actually develop severe mental health problems.

So we really need to be paying attention to the emotional

dimension of transformation and termination because relationships,

as we know, can be so important, so central to a person's life.

That losing a relationship or having a relationship

that is severely disruptive can have huge emotional impact on our lives.

>> All right. So you did mention that some people kind of react

in these sort of self-destructive ways sometimes because

of the high level of emotions that they experience.

But how do you suggest just kind of for

the average person how should they deal with their emotions?

What do you think the process of going through those emotions should be like?

>> I think the most important principle in this is self care.

So to be able to care for

oneself, a good starting point is for us to be

very accepting of ourselves, including our own emotional reactions, right.

So if I feel sad, I feel angry, I feel upset and

even if my biorhythms are disturbed.

I cannot sleep. I do not eat well or

my menstrual cycle is off. I accept that this is

a natural response to a significant event in life and

I do not blame myself. I do not feel bad.

I do not let myself fall into a vicious cycle of self-blaming.

But taking a very positive attitude, okay, something happened.

And I feel like shit and I want to take care of myself.

How can I be nice to myself?

Yes, I do feel angry.

I feel jealous, or I feel this, I feel that.

I may even feel suicidal, but I still want to take good care of myself.

I think that is the first step, like that is self-acceptance and

allowing yourself a lot of space to experience feelings and emotions.

And not be threatened or intimidated by them.

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