Then, the mother will, obviously,
be forgoing some of her own needs, like the need for rest.
like may have something important to deal with in the morning or whatever.
But then in an ideal situation,
the mother will actually feel good after pacifying a baby.
And then, the baby is not crying again and she then goes back to sleep.
So in this particular act, the mother gives and the baby receives.
But then maybe the mother derives a bigger sense of satisfaction than the baby,
we don't know, all right?
I cannot be sure.
But that's just how it may work.
And then when we look at any like ideal loving relationship.
That's what we hope will happen.
And people are not calculating like I've given this much and you have not.
Like put in your fair share.
And I've done so much for you and you don't really care for me.
We hear that a lot when couples are fighting and to me, when people
start operating in this mode, something is already missing in the relationship.
But of course, I'm also aware that
there are like people who are involved in relationships that are abusive,
that are exploitative.
Like one person is always expected to give to the extent that the person is damaged.
That person's personal space and freedom and autonomy are all compromised.
And there is like one person who is constantly demanding for his or her needs to be met.
That, of course, is problematic as well, right?
But I think in an ideal relationship, people should be fully autonomous,
and they actually should be able to derive pleasure and
satisfaction through the act of giving.
And if you for some reason are not able to do that, or
you're not either when you're giving, not because you want to but
you're made to or you do not experience fulfillment from your giving.
Then, I think it is probably time for you to be re-examining the relationship.