0:05
So dealing with conflict, I would say, the most important thing to me,
advice that I can give is get on the other side of the table.
To try to understand and find out where that other person is coming from,
because conflict really is an opposition of goals, an opposition of wants,
an opposition of needs.
You have to understand where that person's goals, wants, and
needs are derived from, to really see if you have a conflict.
Or really maybe more of an ego need.
So that's one thing, I would make sure you get on the other side of the table.
The other thing is to try to maintain emotion.
So you don't want to, a common saying that I've heard,
I've used in the past, is don't raise your voice, reinforce your argument.
So when you're involved in a situation where there's high passion,
1:03
escalating that passion through emotion can be harmful, so
get on the other side of the table, make sure you're not escalating it,
make sure you're respecting all points of view.
I think those three things will help anybody
1:20
to resolve conflict in a lot easier manner, and not take or
give anything in a personal sense.
So don't take anything somebody's saying personal, and
don't attack somebody personally.
1:40
I was involved in an opportunity where we came into an organization who
had experienced a lot of violence in the workplace type issues.
And they didn't' know where they stemmed from.
It was a very competitive work environment.
I remember they ran two shifts, and each shift had three lines and
they were producing electronic components.
So if you your walking into your work space and looking up on the wall,
and seeing that you can tell what the night shift produced.
And then you could also tell what the other lines were producing, so
there's an immediate kind of anxiety or
tension or competitive nature within that environment.
And so, there is also conflicts that were between
the quality control engineers and the assemblers.
The assembler seem to be of one background or ethnicity, or cultural
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format, and the managers, the quality control engineers were of a different,
typically a different, they were engineering and had different backgrounds.
So when a piece came off the line and it was, let's say not with the quality
control engineer wanted, he would reject the part, he would reject the component.
Well, how he did that
3:25
The engineer, the quality control engineer really didn't mean anything by it, but
because of that, how he handled situations,
it prevented them from getting the best output.
And then, because of the competition issue, even among the lines.
What they would do was do what they could to sabotage the other line.
So they would steal tools, or they would break components, so that they can be
perceived on those competitive boards that they saw when they walked in as leading.
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Now, senior management didn't know anything about this.
But we are able to go in and sit down and interview a number of different people.
Throughout the organization both the people who were
manufacturing the components, assembling the components, and
then doing the quality control engineer, it became quite evident what was going on.
And so, to get back to the active listening skills,
it took us a long time, because there were sometimes communication issues.
4:30
People who were working were English might not have been their first language.
And so you had to make sure you repeated back to them,
this is what I think I heard you say, and get them to confirm that,
that your understanding was correct.
And then at the end summarize everything that they said as you were developing
their kind of point of view of this issue in this,
the problem that they were experiencing, so
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active listening skills will just help you clarify a very complex thing,
because often times you don't have conflict you have communication issues.
And it help, whether the people speak the same language or not,
there are often times communication issues, and goals, and wants,
and needs that are then expressed.
If they're not clearly understood, it can cause conflict where really none exists.
5:33
So my naturals, the conflict is never easy and
it's never fun, but I try to deal with it as soon as I can.
That is my kind of natural style, to deal with it.
And how I deal with it is to try to get the individual to tell me,
not only what the issue is.
But how they would resolve it.
Because I don't believe you should necessarily just bring a problem.
You should bring some type of a resolution to show that you thought through it.
And also, to show that there is a conflict as opposed to once again
just being maybe an ego need somebody has to be correct in a certain situation.
And I do that for both parties.
To make sure that I understand and
can define the conflict from their point of view.
So if they're giving me their conflict, and
they're telling me both, in a situation where there's two people involved, and
they're telling me how they would resolve the conflict,
that gets you a long way to what you can agree upon.
So in consulting work, which we do a lot of,
the bottom line is, the goal is to do the right thing for the client.
We all wanna do the right thing for the client.
So if there is a conflict, which there typically is,
it's not a matter of my answer is better than yours.
7:00
We all want the right thing for the client, but
we may come at it from different approaches.
But if we all realize that the underlying goal here is do the right thing for
the client, there's a much different outcome than,
I need to do the right thing, maybe for
me cuz I have a certain ego need to make sure that my solution was used.
So my style would be to deal with it as directly as you can.
Be open and be honest, and
try to have a good understanding of the problem, so that you can solve it.
Knowing that in not all cases everybody is gonna be happy with the resolution, but
if the bottom line is to come up with a positive result for either the client, or
in the situation, people can respect the process.
They may not be always happy with the outcome, but they will respect
the fact that you've done the best you can to resolve the issue,
and I think that in the long run is the best way to handle a conflict.
Najla DeBowInstructor
