[BLANK_AUDIO] >> I do want to have time for, for questions and discussion, so let's do that now. Let's start over here. >> [INAUDIBLE] >> Okay, [UNKNOWN] Julia, how do you not get jealous of your friends? >> I think self care is really important, so like, you know prioritize the things that really make you happy like, I don't scrimp anymore on ice cream because ice cream is actually, it turns out really important to my happiness. And so there are somethings we're like yeah, they have a car and I don't have a car or whatever, you know, but I have I have things that they don't have. You know, I have a, a really good relationship you know, I have a great family you know, there are. You can always compare yourself to other people but, it's just not that useful. And so I focus on the things that are really important to my happiness and letting them do their thing. >> I guess the other aspect of that would be who are your friends. I mean, if, if I think gradually, you tend to relate to people to some extent who share your values, and I imagine that if you had friends perhaps, all the friends from earlier on or maybe in your case you've always thought like this, but you had friends who turn out to be wanting to always talk about renovating their home or something of that sort and how much you know, you need to pay for one of these extremely expensive cookers or something like that, at some point, so your friendship might be under strain. Would that be right? >> I mean, that could happen as we get older. I don't know, but I mean, I live sort of in the neighborhood of Cambridge, Massachusetts, which has a lot of eccentric people and I think my friends just sort of think I'm one of them, and that's fine. >> 'Kay, right. Might depend where you, where in the country you live. That's possible. >> Okay. Anyone else? >> [INAUDIBLE]? >> I, I just wanted to ask the question or if, if it, seems to you that, people are made happy by spending money. >> [INAUDIBLE] pointed out, [INAUDIBLE]. >> I'll, I'll repeat this anyway, so it gets on the recording. So the, the answer was up to about $70,000 if you think it does make people happier to spend money. You're referring to on of the sort of studies that Daniel Carnaman and other did. >> I'll. I'll, I'll respond to you. What are your thoughts on friendship? You think that people should be treated differently? >> Now, what are your thoughts on friendship, sorry, there was another bit I didn't quite catch, do you think people should be treated? >> Differently. [INAUDIBLE] should people, should your family be treated better as [CROSSTALK] >> I see. So, should your friends be treated better than strangers? >> No, I think inevitably you will because the, the, just as you, you're going to favor your family, and no matter what I write about utilitarianism, I'm going to favor my family. It's, it's a natural tendency, but no, I think that if you have something to give, you should give it to the person who needs it most. But I'm glad that, what, what you said, there is research that money that makes you feel secure, brings contentment, and beyond that, it doesn't. >> Okay, we have some more questions or comments on that? Yeah? >> [INAUDIBLE] you get happiness from giving your money but do you consider those who derive happiness from spending money on themselves as [INAUDIBLE] >> Okay, I'm sorry I'll repeat the question. Questioner asked, pointed out that you get happiness from giving, but what do you think of people who gain happiness from spending money on themselves? Do you think of them as immoral people? >> Don't get me wrong, I enjoy spending money. I don't think of that as immoral, you know, to want to have pleasure, like that's a natural human thing. I think it's good if you also help other people and I don't get too into the question of whether people are immoral or not, I find that you know pretty unhelpful to go into, and I pretty much don't think about that. >> So you have a broadly tolerant attitude about other people's [INAUDIBLE]? >> Yeah, there's no point in having an intolerant one, like, it doesn't yield any good. >> Okay. So you do want to promote the idea of other people doing the kind of thing that you're doing, but you really want to do it by positive example [INAUDIBLE]? >> Yeah, I don't think you can do it by preaching at them. >> Mm-hm, okay. >> Yes, down here. >> How does [INAUDIBLE] >> Okay, so how, how will your spending habits change if you have kids, if you, if the kid wants something that you think the kid doesn't really need, Yeah. So my husband and I are expecting our first child in March, so this is an imminent question. I mean I think all parents run into that problem. Right? Like all children are going to want something that their parent isn't going to want to buy for them for one reason or another. And, so that's, that's like not unique to us. So as I said, you know, we set aside a budget to live on and because we have, so I'm a social worker. My husband is a computer programmer. We have, like, fairly normal white collar jobs. But we still earn enough that even after giving half, we have like about the, the American median household income. So we're living at a level that's pretty similar to your average American family. And so just like other families you know, in America and elsewhere, we'll prioritize, we'll budget and we'll you know, try not to spoil our kids and try not to deprive them too much. >> Any other advice I have from that having had children and grandchildren is thrift shops are a wonderful source of toys. You know, they, they tend to turn them over fairly fast but you know, it's still a new toy to them even it it's not so new. [BLANK_AUDIO]
